Slept late last night...around 3+...Woke up at 7:15...

Gee I was late cuz was actually trying to blog while being disturbed by Mr. max...at times, he really get on my nerves!! well...I'm not interested in him...so dun want to further clarify la... and i didn't say much cuz ahahha...cuz there's no need to!

One thought that revolved in my mind..since last week...actually it came up here and there...just that I shoved it aside..but came up again recently...Kinda funny why all these buried thoughts emerged just when you thought there have sunk and drowned... (This ain't the only dream that came up.. to be elaborated later)

Always love to create...I mean with whatever materials...yah...I may not be that technical.. as in if I do something...it will be by the flow...from the heart...I dOn't consUlt books/ guides (one reason being that I dUn have them... )secondly; it's from the heart...so when I do something fOr the sake of doing...to me it'll be a flop...(Even though some might think it's good? bUt tHere's something missing...hmmhmm... like I told a cOuple of friends...that Acc was never my 1st chOice...(On paper it was ...wanted to go archi bUt out of dunno what reason I changed my mind...I don't know...but regretted...made a no. Of wrong turns here and there...which explains why my Uni grades sucks big time in year 1 & 2..hmmm never got an A .. the Bs only came when in my final year.. ~ when I finally woke up...Aiyo.. why no one save me earlier.. heehee...but then there's a purpose for everything...Cuz God's ways are higher than our ways..
the creative-days... began in sEc 3, cUz wanna win "Letter of the day" hahaha...I was a P-10 fan then... so wanna win the goodie bag.. and actually started with the intention to get my dedication read, so made it nicer.. then it became somewhat a hobby to get the letter of the day...hehehee...hmmm...think thrUOut my Upper sec years.. Have wOn it like 3 or 4 times...(But I only cAme up with these ideas when I was mugging..hahaha?thaT's hOw my late nights began... or I should say early mornings..hmmm bUt...once again....dOn't know if this is merely a passion/like ... bUt whether or not can this sustain me...I dOn't know...unless I come up with sOmething that's signature...hmmm not easy to survive...but then again.. God has gave me this gift.. I dOn't want to waste it...(not that I'm wasting... but truly...I'm not maximizing the fullness of what God has placed in me.. being in 8-5 job ain't exactly a bad way to live... bUT I just can't stand what I'm doing now...hmmm....in short...this is not my calling...I dOn't mind working long hours.. if I enjoy what I'm doing.. but then?I really see no joy/ satisfaction in what I'm doing...True.. God has placed me here for some reason...(mainly is how to deal with difficult people... how often u get some who hurl insults at U for soMething that you haven't done... Another is Patience...)

Initially when I started out.. ya...I sOrta thought.... maybe this was it...so was kinda Onz...mmm main aim than was to work hard..make lotsa $$$ .. ya.. I was rather materialistic then... (still worldly mah...BUT... shoRtly after I started wOrking...in August 2001...a meeting at Singapore Indoor StadiUm changed everything....(though there and then.. I didn't experienced much of a thing... )

as I slowly weaned from milk to bread...my thoughts evolved as well...well God has created us way before we came into this World...each person came into this World for a PurPose.. (despite u know it Or not? ) a few years agao.....had this thought when I passed by rows of very systematic terrace houses in between tanah merah & simei mrt station that these houses resembles toy houses... why did we create toys...the toys just resembles us, how we live our everyday life..... like the barbies and kens.. and the houses.. play sets... what set me thinking was that...aren't we just like being toys as well...toys to the creator...(hahaha.. that was me when I was still lost...when I'm still searching for an answer to my existence... suicidal? PerhaPs once a upon a time.. why...felt meaningless to live...ya... PMS (permanent mood swings).. that's was me when I was in my teenage years!

erratic thoughts now.. haven't truly woke up..
hmmm taking up of designing courses came to me once again last week...during POM practice while I talked to Michelle...and during service 1and service 3... and this morning...my problem.. was snugged tightly in my comfort zone... badbad...but I gotta do sOmething abt this.... may be next year?? I'm a big time procrastinator in big issues...Gotta quit being wishy-washy.... DO what is in my mind for past 2 years...then this.... ya.. see next para

another area: Long ask me recently while we chat online... so when is my time?.. wellwell...things that evolved in recent months Just threw me back into another of dream of mine...
(a) my own QT
(b) sermon during cg

certainly, I don't go after the title or the red tag for the prestige/ authority/title...well... it's the burden for people...the lost.. the wayward.. the confused... hahaha.. me is definitely not a person that loves seeking attention...or fame...but sOrta discovered the sense of satisfaction derived from making a 5min call to a new friend...(hahaha.. my 1st assignment was Brilly's friend sis.. but dunno if she still comes to church? and to see how my 1st student has changed and grew.. (haha.. my 1st BS with her was like 2 hours in Bedok Nth Mac? ya.. I'm expert at porridge dishes~ verbal or virtual.. with the right people....) and how vick had slowly emerged from her reserved self in 181 days to now... hmmm there are still many areas I need to work on... Ya..slided&glided along for a while... went to the woods...enjoyed the laidbackness for a while...(sounds like vacation... a nitemare vacation.. haha!!)BUT this was not what God has created me for... wasted a quarter of 2004...bUt... sweetie's bacK from the ulu land...

hmmm this was the initial cheer of the Youth ministry for POM :
We, the youths of CHC, born for such a time as this. Passion, fire, destiny. Loving people fervently!

YupyUp...Loving people fervently.... no matter how difficult the person is...(there are some of this people ard me...cellgrp.. work..friends?)
Well...It's not my timing.. but His timing.... Despite of my slide... He has not given up hope on me...remembered that Ryan said this to me (when I was sorta wayward.. and sorta kanna reprimanded by him) "Pick up the pieces and move on with God!"

1 Cor 1:26-31
"For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called.But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty;and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are,that no flesh should glory in his presence.But of Him, you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification and redemption- that, as it is written,"He who glories, let him glory in the Lord."

Rom 8:28"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose"

Rom 11:29 "For the gifts and calling of God are irrevocable."

Gotta be obedient.. seek & obey...

God is not limited by our limitations. He can use us and work beyond our limitations...HAve wasted enough of His time...Gotta start working...(in both sense: for His kingdom .. ya work..)

yay.. my fave song is on Class 95 now...I wanna be with YOU!(note: the "you" is in caps... so.. not wat some might think... heeheehee)

Ops..yet another lengthy blog! looking at the time of this entry.. u know that my mind was wandering abt... and not doing wat i should be doing....