GOD'SCREATION
hermione.liyi
November gal
pRincess oF God
lOves God wholeheartedly
and His people fervently
His Work In Progress
deePly rOOTed in His house @ City Harvest Church
and honored to be serving Him in the ChOir!
QUENCH MY THIRST.
sponsorship to SOT
ipod socks
more chunky bright accessories
patent for "heRmione's cReATions"::
LOVES
*God
*His presence
*His Word
miOne's fave
metallic blue iPod mini in lime skin!
sing
card/ gift designing & the creative likes
rainbow & rain
pink & fluffy ~ the "lian" side to me
Friday, December 31, 2004
22 hours to a brand new year
2004 was indeed an eventful year... this morning.. i wonder how my 31st will be spent.. even told simin that I don't have any plans.. was supposed to meet simin for dinner but she on-call on 31st, so..can't meet me for dinner.. hence.. went to the supermarket and bought a nice fillet and tofu.. made meself s nice steamed/grilled fillet and tofu/tomato pasta.. Yummy.. haven't cooked for a loooong time.. [ for the uninitiated... sweetie here can cook..just that she disliked the cleaning up part...]
received an sms for plans for 31st in the evening while I'm watching the tvb serial.. (oo.. thoughts from story gave the courage to go forth in my dreams!) well.. it turned from an expensive nite out.. to a FOC nite @ esplanade!
remember counting down to 2004 (or shall i say, we didn't even realised it was already 2004.. cUz we were @ changi village.. ) i suppose the "composite" of the "we" will be different this year.. very different.. but still got one of my very good friend! :)
people does move on in life...some of them drifted.. no need to spell it out.. guess that u know.. well... glad to see you're happy... haven't went to a wild countdown party for ages.. (ya.. closet-lian.. that trait is diminishing!) kinda grew distant from violet, my jc mate and FYP pal.. Sigh.. used to be rather close to her.. but sorta grew apart during these couple of years especially me started attending sat service (eh.. not complaining... just that our fave past-time used to be movies/shopping on sat..!) hopefully next year can reconcile this relationship... tien.. aiyah.. i lost contact with this lass le... hope u're still at fcbc..
well.. u gain some.. u lose some.. but am very glad that I'd the opportunity to get to know more people this year.. from cell, from choir, a couple of collegues from work... thankful for the friends (such as r8ch, yili, ming, kiki, jojo, claire,vory ,lian, qiqi) who believed in me.. thanks for ya encouragement and rooting for me.. but most importantly.. I thank my Lord and Saviour Jesus.. who gave me the strength to live when i feel like giving up...
glad to say there is a difference in me in 03 and me in 04. what i'd failed to do in 04 will be accomplished in 05...
one more month to pump myself up... (don't understand? je ne sei pas!)
don't think there'll be any entry from me till next year... many things on my mind.. but i need to gather my thoughts... perhaps until 2nd Jan.. cuz me serving on sat.. guess that i'll plonk to sleep by the time i get home on new year day...
despite not starting the day great... glad to end it happy! looking forward to events tmrw..
[yup.. 31st is the designated day of mourning for the tsumani incident... will pray for the victims.. the families/nations... not gonna gleem with joy while people are grieving... ] but i look forward to the new year cuz this marks the beginning of my whole new year of adventure with Jesus! and also another phrase of my life...
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
2:34:00 AM
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Thursday, December 30, 2004
the second last day before 2004
happy/sad..
The door has already been closed. Don't think I'll push it anymore. should i be happy? or sad? Part of the fleshy nature kinda flinched when i saw the the first digit.. this is rather bad... [though from what I delivered, i deserved it!]
Though the other piece of A4 paper did state that my sal would be adjusted against the gravity direction.. still it does not yield much joy.. the office is filled with rejoicing...while me... am staging the happy strawberry act.. [trying to conceal the disappointment]
but truly, a part of me is rejoicing cuz ya.. I'm gald that this door had been slammed shut in my face.. Truly I know, this phrase of my life has ended... I won't say that the quantum of pb is attributable to this closure.. but this certainly plays a part.
Urgh at the strike of the clock at 12.. an irritating person called.. ya.. she's from an accounting firm ( ulu one) (but she does not have the knowledge and expertise..) I know I'm rather scarastic to her but hey... she caught me when I was at a low pt and asked me silly questions.. sorry, but i couldn't resist the urge to lash it out at her.. she sounded like a young, inexperience lass.. next time, pls do ur homework b4 calling.. I feel sorry for ya client..
am leaving now cuz got a dental appOintment at 3pm...
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
1:30:00 PM
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Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Monday*27/12/04*
hmmm watChed KungFu hustle @ JB with yili, chris & siewchoo. oo and chris's pal, king joined us for the mOvie as well.. kekeke.. despite of the "subtle" censorship of the "violent scences" by the authorities, the mOvie was hilarious.. seldom u see Sweetie sweet sweet rocking in laughter in her seat..[Ops.. phew.. noOne witness sweetie's "shi*tai" [translate: loss of composure] cuz it was in the darkdark cinema]
hmm.. did a lil shOpping.. kekeke.. spent RM 39 on the lilac mango waist pouchie that I'd eyed for long.. [would have spent more if not for the fact that not much time and yili was ard.. cldn't let him wait mah..plus i need to curb this impulsive shOpping for mango stuff syndrome..] and a cheeeep east india top for RM32.. it's PINK and very sweet.. like me [kekeke!][ i know soMe will be chanting bhb hOr.. kekeke..]hmmm many lovely stalls.. but resisted in going in cOz.. will definitely spend if i entered them..
we had a HARd time hUnting for a suitable bOOk @ a christian bookstOre @ citysq ..[wOW.. the bOOKs are cheeep! but dUe to lack of RM.. i din bUy any bOOKs..]hard time cuz we dOn't want to bUy something that despite we knOw that the person needed it but might not be the reciprocal feeling by the recipient..in the end.. failed attempt..
hey.. my dear cellmembers.. (especially the treasurer would be gleeming with joy cuz of the cost savings!) anyOne interested to go shOpping with me for next birthday baby at city sq.. [cheeep and not bad leh..] kekeke..hermione turning "auntish-y"..
hmmm loved this swing seat at the marrybrown.. being a "pendulum" person by nature..[in case u haven't notice by now..i seldom stand still..would "oscillate" when standing] loved the swinging experience.. we talked abt our new year resolutions.. hmmm actually me did not intend to let more know abt it.. but yili asked loh.. sO.. ya.. another tWo peeps know.. ha.. the power of positive confession..
kekeke..touched SingaPore land ard 9:10.. urgh.. Long Q.. Funfun though..feels like holiday..cheep thrill..missed the telecast on chc on cna.. reached hOme ard 11:15. .can't watched it in rOOM cUz me haven buy the TV cable.. got corroded.:(
went hOme and sOrta re-org rOOM aGAin.. keke had dragged in my chest of drawers from living rOOM yesterday.. aNd dUmped my bAgs inside.. and set my Miffy, Pooh & piglet on it..[kekeke looks like a 16-year Old bedRoom..] and organised hermione's creations' stOck.. ]
watched a movie that was screened last christmas..starring tony leung and miriam.. what a sWeet stOry!
[The iNsanity of being sane...] To possess doesn't mean everything. strawberry fallen deeper and deeper into this mash.. pls get Out!!
was led to read Is 55.. was reminded of the earlier conversation on resolution.. and the sot thingy.. IS 55:11.. it will not return to HIM void! why dO i wanna gO sOT? ha.. definitely cuz of my personal agenda..bUt God's agenda.. [kekeke for a period of time: my ambition was to be a "tai*tai" kekeke!! so bimbotic rite?] first of all.. I want to be equiped in the WOrd. and sensed that tis the season..
Am medidating on Is55:5.. :)
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
10:52:00 PM
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Sunday, December 26, 2004
drIpping nOse.. my enemy .. DUST
Urgh... hOusewORk and me don't click..
nOSe a-dripping cuz the dust that i cleaned up caused chaos to my respiratory system.. Urgh... But the pipagao helps! :)
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
11:32:00 PM
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a looooong break!
ChristmAs came and passed....
saTurday was a hectic day for me.. I woke up really late.. and out of desperation.. I took a cab down (PTL that I just have enuff to cover the cab fare! with a couple of $$ to spare).. well.. it was sorta like warfare to actually "defend" our two rows that eventually reduced to one..[cuz there were only long and me....] thanks LOng for making it down despite u were not feeling well.. (didn't know that... OpS!) & the brekkie ..else i think i would have fallen while on stage... ] despite watching the drama for the second time.. i really get to enjoy the drama and listening to the Holy Spirit as well.. in fact.. was brought to mind some things and revelation why some things are going to proceed the way they will be...
Guessed that I was toooo tired by everything that's gOing on... I was really tired by the time i got home yesterday... and out of no reason... my mom decided to ask abt my financial status.. man.. Nope... I haven't tell anIOne except my church pals. ( and not all know yet) abt going to bible school next year.. hmmm I was really kinda flabbergasted last nite.. and using the pretense that I was watching "pay it forward" .. i kept myself from lying by giving one word answers...
Urgh...prayed.. teared... felt better.. and reassured.. by the couple of verses that was inspired to flip to.. It'll not be an easy month ahead...
for the past couple of weeks ...sorta sense that someone might have been talking things about me... perhaps, that explained how i was treated by some.. [u know, cooler than usual.. but whatever...] Urgh.. but truth will prevail.. if they wanna judge me.. well.. what shall i say? i can't stop u but i pray that you won't for your own sake... Hey, i may not show it, but i can sense it... perhaps those who believed should brush up in their area of discernment? still. i will pray for you...
Had a wonderful peaceful sUnday.. [yay.. i bought my JUBjub from mac.. my 1st neoPet.. whom i neglected for 1 yr!] and watched this tvbi drama series.. 12 episodes straight.. hahaha very c-lai rite? unwrapped some more pressies.. hehehee.. got a nOdding head bear.. :) and some still unwrapped.. need to re-charge now...
am gOing to JB tmrw with siew choo & long.. :)
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
10:45:00 PM
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Saturday, December 25, 2004
only Hope..
love this song... made me fell in love with A Walk to remembers!
hmmm have a rest.. :)
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
4:13:00 AM
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Thanks...
I am really blessed with loTSa gifts toDay... very blessed.... I'd opened 3 gifts.. (love them.. a pair of dangling earrings and a tabo (sanrio character) water flask and cUppa & a slice of handmade cake) still got quite a no. [ya.. me dragged the two bags and half filled backpack to SIS ] unopened..
Ohh.. and i lOve the cards that I'd opend.. first is qiqi.. hmmm thanks fOR ya wOrds of encouragement and.. Woman of strength? kekeke..:P
and jojo's card... was amazed aT the length.. :) but gal.. thanks.. I treasure u as my friend too.. :)
kekeke.. my colleagues loved my last minute christmas cards (did before zzzzzzzz last nite) and some amazed at my creations.. kekeke.. some dun even wanna unwrapped cuz it looked too pretty! kekeke.. Joy of giving christmas gift is tO see the recipent reaction when they unwrapped & received it..
my dear cell members or ex-cell :: vicky, emmy, joyce ( i love ya gift) Thanks Dearies for ya gifts!
my collagues at work.. thanks! for ya gifts...
very inspired by what jojo worte.. hmm late... zzzzzzzzzz
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
4:13:00 AM
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a White Christmas [literally]
Urgh.. was dOing my last min xmas thingy till 2+ & fell to Power of bed demOn.. Woke up at 7:30AM! God is good! [Amen!] I left hOme at 8:10aM.. and I asked GOd for a cAb.. and lo and behold.. a mercs cab!! kekeke...
and thank GOd for the time expansion... that I did the cellGroup christmas cards from scratch after wOrk.. (officially time-off starts at 12 am..) but I did not have the choice.. went makan @ HOng Kong st restuarant.. yummy fishhead beehOon.. and kopi-Peng @ novena food cOurt sustained me..
was very :) that i finished everything @ 4pm.. started my make-up.. Urgh.. long Q at novena sq.. called comfOrt.. ha.. the cab came within 2 min!! fetched wanling. cuz she waiting @ kallang.. So ya.. money tight but well spent!
Christmas Spectacular 2004 It WAS aweSome.. Singing on the high aBove platfOrm was fUn.. & the Presence of God was sTrong.. :) hmm "saw" two different hands rOse up in my Row.. but urgh.. not ready harvest.. I need to spend more time on YL.. (ha.. yili not U la! kekeke).
hahaha! for the 1st time in my 25 years of life.. I had a WHITE christmas! cUZ the people were around were having fUn spraying the foam & streamers all around.. I was greeted with Urgh.. fOam and more fOam.. Oo.. btw Mike,Robin, Lian, Joyce, Emmy & Joslyn & swEetie went dOwn to Orchard after service.. it was a fUn experience... though I admit.. I look kinda like a runaway kid today.. (cUz me bag ~ my infamOus paolu Roxy bag ~ was filled with pressies fROm colleagues)
aniwae... it was good fellowship after that... :) mike was actually kinda fUn to be with.. hey we gonna have a countdown pinic (suggested by Mike) next fri @ east COast... kekeke will ask ryan later..
took NR7 hOme.. i was chatting (i think i was ultra chatty and a jukebox that kept singing "I wanna wish you a merry christmas!" very hyper.. haha.. joY of the Lord!! ) with joyce.. though one-sided.. kekekeke.. alighted at pasir ris pri instead of the market.. tOOK a nice slow walk home.. kekeke.. jukebOz onz again.. Wow.. enjoyed my slOw walk with God.. :)
hair drying sooon.. call time 930.. meeting members 9am.. to wake up at 630! :) zzzzzzzzzzz
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
4:02:00 AM
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Tuesday, December 21, 2004
sOmething to chEer myself..
my berryPod is frozen(i suspect.. doesnt respOnd when i On it.. ) draining the battery nOw.. back to my trustwOrthy Discman..
so fOund this happy Song to cheer myself up...
haha.. thOugh I think this will drive sOme of u cRazy...
~~~ herMione's sOng~~~ [adapted from Elmo SOng!] This is the song, lalalala hermione's sOng lalalala(x2) hermione'ssOng lalalalalalalala(x2) she loves to sing, lalalala hermione's song lalalala(x2) hermione's song she wrote the music she wrote the words That's hermione's song......Yeah! ~~~~~~~~
seek the source! [include the healing of my berry/pod]
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
4:01:00 AM
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Where dOes my beauty lies...
Your Beauty lies
in Innocence. Pure, sweet and child-like. You most
likely look far younger than
you are and your smile would brighten up anyone's
day. Seen as naive and
sheltered, you can be ignorant at times, but for
the most part, it's simply your
reputation preceding you. You are most likely
rather aware of the realities of
life. You are extremely good natured and
trustworthy. By the same token, you are
a bit too trusting. Be careful, few are as honest
and open as you. You might
seem girlish still with a love of dresses, ponies,
and things most might deem
you "too old for". But this doesn't
bother you. You enjoy your youth and are
going to make it last. After all you are only as
old as you feel.
~~~~~ heehee trUe? perhaps ? if ya nOe me.. U'll know! :)
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
3:02:00 AM
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Sunday, December 19, 2004
jOurney of my dReam...
wOw.. it's like a reminder uPon reminder uPon reminder....
heARd this message while i "sneaked" into the emerge conference using pei's tag.. [was when the dream that was dead came alive but was shortlived when went downhill...and hanging in midAir]
bought the CD.. heard it again.. bUt...
uploaded the CD into my iPod.. and was listening tO this message b4 i drifted into zzzz last nite..
i was rather surprised that today's sermon was what i heard last nite... not coincidental for me.. rather serves as a reminder to what i'd dreamt when i was just a yOung milk weaning christian..at the quite ulu Anglican retreat centre in katong.. and reason why things are going the way they are now.. cUz 2005 is the enterance to sOmething that's bigger than I can imagine i could do for God...surrender my all to God..
entering into the door of unknow but have total trust and faith in God,
and I thank God for the good bs that i gave lian this morning despite i didn't really prepare much.. I think chapter 9, LF will come to pass for her... ~ power of visualisation.. kiki u too ah....
ooo.. finally pass the appli.form to ryan.. and i finally get my birthday card back after 1month 4 days...
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
2:30:00 AM
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Saturday, December 18, 2004
different shades of bRown...
hmmm i did sOmething tO my hAir [finally.. looking kinda bORIng.. and lifeless] quite like the resUlt... thouGh i'd spent 3 hOurs in that chAir.. but really lOve the cOlor that jeanie chose! [told her I want sOmething lighter.. ] and was only charged $100 for lowlight & highlight.. for my length.. it's a bargain!.. [hmm had been gOing there for three years le!] thAnks jeanie for the treat oso.. (the bUn from far east.. the rOtiBoy-lookalike, but i like the lookalike better.. perhaps cuz me ate it pIping hOt.. ) wanted to invite jeanie for the sis but she wOrking both fri & sat..
cUrrent no. of friends who din reject and express interest: One.. [never came before..prOmised but flew plane .. this will not continue..]
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
4:29:00 AM
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Friday, December 17, 2004
fridAe thOughts in office
Today seems to be such a long day, looking forward to 5pm, going to do something to my hair.. On second thought, it seemed to fly past rather fast. iPod died me due to insufficient charging. Looking forward to weekend.. hmmm no confirmed friends yet. Longed for a good rest, need more rest, blOg getting incoherent. Everything seems to be whirl past . Excited about my new hairdo. Know that me hair looks the same for quite sometime. It's time for a change! Like an obv or lOud color, but no flat rebonding for me. I don't know what I will do either, I will later!
Really? kekeke.. veryfUn.. don't think u know what's the giggle for?
fact: A had omitted tax from 1999 to 2003.
fact: A not doing financially well.
fact: A would not have the funds to pay. fact: It's an offence to omit tax.
fact: hermione felt mean to raise the assessment. fact: it's her jOb to the meanie Act (and face the music later) fact: hermione's a human fact: she doesn't want to do it. fact: she is required to do it. fact: it is not the first time hermione
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
11:57:00 AM
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80th storey
got this email from vOry..game me answer to some questions.. ) the soign!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~` Seek ye the kingdom of GOD and His righteousness, the rest shall be added unto you
Story goes....
There were once 2 brothers who lived on the 80th level. On coming home one day, they realized to their dismay that the lifts were not working and that they had to climb the stairs home. After struggling to the 20th level, panting and tired, they decided to abandon their bags and come back for them. They left their bags there and climbed on.
When they struggled to the 40th level, the younger brother started to grumble and both of them began to quarrel. They continued to climb the flights of steps, quarrelling all the way to the 60th floor. They then realized that they had only 20 levels more to climb and decided to stop quarrelling and continue climbing in peace. They silently climbed on and reached their home at long last. Each stood calmly before the door and waited for the other to open the door. And they realized that the key was in their bags which were left on the 20th floor.
[Not meant to be a joke at all... if you find yourself laughing at it, it's about time u start thinking about what you want in life.]
Moral: This story is a reflection on our lives. Many of us live for the expectations of our parents, teachers and friends when we were young. We seldom get to do the things that we really like or love. It is under so much pressure and stress that by our early 20s, we get tired and decide to dump this load and enjoy life. Being free of the stress and pressure, we work enthusiastically and dream ambitious dreams. But by the time we reach our 40s, we start to lose our vision and along with that, our dreams and goal in life. We began to feel unsatisfied and start to complain and criticize. We live life in misery as we are never satisfied. Reaching 60, we realize that we have little time left for complaining and we began to walk the final episode in peace and calmness. We think that there is nothing left that could disappoint us, only to realize that we cannot rest in peace because we have an unfulfilled dream. A dream we abandoned about 60 plus years ago.
So what is your dream? Keep them alive. Follow your dreams so that you will not live with regrets and you will have stories to share with your loved ones.
> Have you dropped/abandoned (lost) your bags (dreams) some where along the busy lifestyle/working life?? Ask yourself now, what have you achieved so far??
> And if you continue to do what you are doing now what will you be achieving in 2 years time??
> Is this what you want from life?? Is this the kind of lifestyle you want??
> Are you satisfied with it?? If you have already achieved what you want. Then CONGRATULATIONS to you!!!
> If you have NOT, then are you doing something about it?? Have you got a plan??
> If you still have NOT DONE ANYTHING. What are you waiting for?
> You only live this life once; time which has passed will not come back.
> What are you waiting for??
> Dream big and go for it...Have a blessed Christmas n Happy New Year
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
2:52:00 AM
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berry.blueberry
yay... I'm the proUd Owner of my last indUlgence ~ berry.blueberry.. oo.. it's the name of my iPodmini.. veryVery chIo!! cUz my friend decided to reduce the price to $380... retail price $458, sO i decided to bUy.. haPpy haPpy.. and fOr the vanity sAke.. lunch for this mOnth and nExt mOnth.. will be .. ? less cab..i will make it.. [brought to mind this cell member who insisted that iPod is spelt as i-Pod. brother.. I wish you won't take the outCome of the game soooo hard.. and iPod is really spelt together.. (incidentally, our group got this question correct! cUz.. berry.blueberry was happy residing in the MNG bag!)
am gOnna hUnt fOr a jOb afTer cHristmaS.. am believing that with the pArt.time jOb/ tuition.. I can make it! (: after all I'm trained to sleep sleep less.. I can look freSh desPite hAving an hOur of sleep.. (ok.. tis is self-inflicted tortUre.. I slept late cUz was tryIng to fix my blog)
there was a walk-in in my cellgrp. was a walk-in from S1. Actually, my initial reaction is " God, can i don't go talk to him?" Needless to guess the reply.. hahaha.. I talked to him.. it was an interesting 10+ min.. (i think I sounded like a taiwanese when i conversed with him cUz somehow the mandarin that flows out of my mouth seemed fluent. ) what transpired between the both of us.. I thank God for the wisdom for wOrds and response. will convey to Ryan. sPoke to him half-way. he was telling me something when another person called him.. hmm said he will call me back.. havent yet. i guessed I can talk to him on sat.. keeping me in suspense.. hmmmm..
happily transferring stuff to my iPodmini.
O... today.. I wore a pair of unwaerable shoes.. it was my NineWest court shoes.. Urgh.. my toes were screaming 5 minutes after i wore them.. [wore them cuz my pants were tOO long and I dun want them to get wet1] and the amazing thing was that I ran in them to chase my bust in the morning,, walked up & down the stairs in them.. but they prOtested after I reached Redhill. Monique.. thanks for ya slipper! :)
Today's sermon: What strUck me.. Point 1 to 5.. actually nothing much is new.. Instantly brought to mind of a conversation I'd on wed. was talking to this sister abt discipleship cuz our zone's youth having discipleship by Pastor. Cuz.. what sister siew choo preached was not something I'd not heard before. but new revelations would surface.. cuz.. we receive the Word differnently now and before.
I was reminded of what I'd to do... while i was talking to kiki.. kiki.. remember wat u're supposed to do! :)
was reading , i should say, RE-reading Spiritual Leadership by Pastor Ulf Ekman. ( bought in last year.. read it.. no impact.. wrong season ma) hmmm was just reading thru' chapter ONE.. and this was stuck in me. What's leadership? Leadership is the ability to lead a group of people from point A to point B. Leadership begins when the sermon ends. To get others to point B.. I must be be at point B already and motivate them to move from A to B.. Felt that I'm only sOmewhere at AB.. a enroute B. .. I need to buck up tOO.. no doubt I can see some fruits of labour but there's much more that they could do!
some one asked me this question? Have you heard the call of GOd? ( he said this in mandarian.. I was take aback! and cuz i only got to know him a couple of minutes and told him yes.. to serve Him. ( i didn't complete the sentence... full-time) When? not now.. but preparation stage.. was talking to brother Kenneth on my way home.. am inspired by his dedication to work!
am going to do something to my untamed/ frizzy mane.. if u see a different hermione on Sat.. U know when the transformation take place..else it will be boring brown! (:
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
2:13:00 AM
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Thursday, December 16, 2004
little things...
sometimes it's the insignificant things that you said that I would remember... it may not seems important to you, somehow or another.. it has found itself a spot in my gray matter.. waiting for a right trigger moment..
where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.. things/ persons that matters to you, they will be constantly on your mind.. Urgh! head spinning.. more important things to do..
reaching out for an almond kiss to brighten my day...
decided not to buy the i-pod mini from my friend. she selling it for $400 ( a tad cheaper than market rate.. but still too hefty for me.. and it's not the color that I wanted.. )
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
1:14:00 AM
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Tuesday, December 14, 2004
heehehee
I was amAzed at the efficiency & power the search function of the internet.. hence.. watch what u write on ya blog!!!
I ran a search on some of my friends name as a test.. found my own site... and I was very very surPrised to see a website with that was created in 1997 (wah.. 7 years had passed still functioning?? ) and with Mission Impossible music.. kekeke.. .. .. somEhow.. i burst into giggles when i entered the site.. was startled by the loud MI music! perhaps this site was long forgotten.. but info still on web.. seems like geoGraphy prOject to me...
Actually.. was impressed cUz this was done in the primitive age of internet and sounds ver GP-ish.. like a mini-fyp....
hmmm wOndered if the leader of the team remembered this webpage? kekeke.. and the prOject concluded with a quote from bible.."Love thy neighbour as ye would love thyself."
indeed... reminded me to do certain things.. kekeke
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
5:20:00 AM
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OT...
i realised that I'll actUally miSS wOrking at iRAS...
first two years were fUn..cUz of the ECAs.. had the experience of taking sOme leadership rOles in the recreation club..was the hon. treasurer for 02/03 & hon.welfare sec for 03/04.. ya. I moved into retirement in 2004.. it was fun time.. and had the oppOrtunity to wOrk with the scholars (whom not all are stuck-up) as most on the exco are the scholars..staff mentality is that why take on additional responsibilty.. well I did that (a) to be more "high profile" ~ (b) add fUn to life
however.. since last year.. I'd lost the motivation for the job..this was certainly not what I would be doing for life. (had been telling my friends, unless u'd plans to retire here..) 2003/2004 ~ I was actually intending to fly to one of the big 4. (ha.. in lure of the higher pay, GST auditors high in demand cuz training is proprietary). However.. weigh the costs.. i stayed on at iras.. had thought of SOT then.. but hmmm lack of the faith and conviction that I'll make it thru'. 12 months later.. I'l back at this crossrOad.. the difference is that I'd decided to move on.... I can't tell what's exactly ahead..and i won't forsee it to be path of rOses.. but certainly.. I would b wearing the jOy of the Lord everyday... and that this would bring me a step closer to my calling in life ..
looking bad at my gOal card.. am happy to say.. there's one thing i need not put it there again..
and let me get some sleep.. it's 3am now
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
3:00:00 AM
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Monday, December 13, 2004
tHOughts,,,
had been thinking a lot..
that's where everything went wrong.. thinking with my mind..let me see..to be frank... I was still hesistant abOut the decision...Until last nite.. heard twice on the sermon on Jehovah Jireh.. Where's my Jehovah Jireh? It was always at the choir platform.. when I heard the voice of God and decided to move on to the greater call He had called me.
the whole week event has been taking a tOll on me.. am trying to learn everyday...to be frank.. tendency to sink into thatfeeling always there when something major going to happen or happening... yesterday on my way to church.. This date suddenly was impressed on me mind.. Mar 2005.. I'm clueless about what's gonna happend... but it's gonna be big and gotta be prepared for it..
on my way to bukit batok this afternoon.. once again.. that feeling came on.. (yili, maybe that's why I behaved "switched off" earlier at 5+!) sometimes it's easier to behave "light-headed" than 'clear-minded"...but, after speaking to my cgl ~ Obv i didn't whine to him abt my indecisive mind. Rather, the words that he spoke regarding my decision is like a "dingxingzhen"..Brother Ryan.. thanks! Trully, under your leadership, I've learn to stand on my own feet, not always to expect you to give me the direction on what to do, to seek God for ourselves, for believing in me even when i don't. Trully, I'm inspired by your love for God, His Kingdom, the cellgroup, and the lost. Thanks for the words spoken, the discipling when I was on the down.
and NTU guys.. Thanks for making today happen! It was certainly a good turnout for the NTU outreach! yili.. you did a good job at the coordination.. and really.. thanks for the encouragement you given me inspite of your busy schedules.. (of ya FYP and cell stuff) Domo arigato!
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
2:15:00 AM
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Hermione, your true color is Green!
You're green, the color of growth and vigor. Good-hearted and giving, you have a knack for finding and bringing out the best in people. Green is the most down-to-earth color in the spectrum ~ reliable and trustworthy. People know they can count on you to be around in times of need, since your concern for people is genuine and sincere. You take pride in being a good friend. For you, success is measured in terms of personal achievement and growth, not by status or position. Rare as emeralds, greens are wonderful, natural people. It truly is your color!
~ iVory sent me this link: http://web.tickle.com/color/.. heehee.. though ivOry..think me more towards ur color!
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
1:20:00 AM
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Sunday, December 12, 2004
my Jehova Jireh
Am thankful to GOd's grace and anointing that it was a good bible study this morning. I woke up at 945, with the intention to give BS @ 1030 @ the BedokNorth Mac.. and I had not prepare my notes.. Am trully glad to see how much lian had grew.. Actually, she in turns help to check on my progress spiritually..the blind cannot lead the blind.
somehow the tOplist on my agenda now is Pruning & reaching out ... there is something which i enjoy doing but it is taken u quite a portion of my time... found that I've not much time to be at home... and I dOn't have much time to fulfill my duties.. and let alone to minister to members and friends... the other thing that I like to and need to do.. but have no time.. yes. like what yili and lian said.. I already know the answer.
THis thought dwell on me, i.e. this sentence that I'd over msn chat..
"what's the pOint of singing/dancing/ushering/serving in the big days when there are no souls in the SIS?" Yes, no doubt that one may be serving.. but don't lose sight over who you are serving and what's the event for?
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
1:55:00 AM
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Saturday, December 11, 2004
a day of....
Friday started well.. ended haha...
had not get this for a looooooooong time.... the familiar voice on the other end asking me questions that I had no answer and I felt really bad.. and that I'd not fulfill my duty.. my first reaction was to push the blame to others...BUT I'm part of it as well... if i myself didn not do what i need to do.. how do i expect to ask others to dO it.. Lead by example.... I wonder if he had anything to say to me tmrw..
banana.. to the contrary.. I'm not in the highs.. but try to.. so ya.. u get the idea that I'm in cloud 9.. thanks for ya pixs that brightened my day...
parable of the failed modules.. SOLVED..
yl.. thanks for the encouragement... and giving illumination to the confused state of mind... very hard to make that decision... today no bhb.. no mood... (arrggh)
going to the secret place now...
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
1:52:00 AM
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Friday, December 10, 2004
Let it snow...
heehee.. it's gonna be christmas.. so yup.. let me change the appearance of my blog bits by bits
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
3:50:00 AM
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sweet pOSt
heeeheee.. i just terrOrised someOne with my sweetJokes.. u put this upOn urself... who asked u to give me that acronym? sooo ya.. u are bestOwed with one tooo... but not the one u cOined for ya self though i like the one start with Yes.. hahha sounds like a hotline..
o.. serious note.. banana.. jia You okie.. glad that I'm able to help u.. :)
okie.. time to fellowship with my dear Heavenly Father!
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
2:45:00 AM
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Wednesday
I had a few pebbles left. Lord, multiply them!
Learnt that Cat last nite that she actually knew abt my blog. Thanks to 'my publicist' , brother iBook Max.. [u want iBook for bdae gift hOr? sorry brother.. the best I can do is to give u free advertising space ~ here at my blog!] Catherine.. if u are reading this.. leave a note for me at my tag board OK? Hope you're feeling better. Please get some rest alright? Thot I saw ruthbella online when I'm abt to log off. That's not you right?
O. Let me talk abit on last night. Finally got the chance to be made-up by Cat. And I'm really impressed at her make-up skills. Thanks for making me to look so poise. Think a couple of the girls like what u done to my lips. And hey, I like the eye best.. never look sooo defined and big.. my eyelashes that were almost non-existence can actually be 'klepped' oo the look for the night was for the commoners for Christmas drama @ SIS. And the glitter eyes part were for the dancers for the Christmas at Orchard. [Which by the way, no sugary presence will be there but sweet fragrance shall linger in SIS though.] Wanted to put up the pix bUt this template doesn't allow me to do so. Hence posted on the Chinese bog. click here if you wish but the resolution not that sharp cuz it's taken with 1st generation camera fone.. Nokia 7250 ~ which by the way, it's going to retirement soon as it's vibrating function seems to dwindle��� but it gotta ast for longer time cuz.. can't afford to spend and I don't want to trade-in.. me sentimental.. the only phone that I was forced to depart with is the problematic 8310 (which I sent for servicing FIVE times and it has changed 2 motherboard~ me bought it when it was newly launched)
O.. saw cUiqi's transparency blog entry.. well.. it's not easy to be transparent.. and too transparent sometimes would result in some type of abuse.. guessed that the degree of transparency that I appear to people is dependent on how comfortable I���m around them..
this morning.. had a bad case of the reoccurrence.. I hate it when it strikes. (Countenance is hard to maintain.) And this morning was given the ���bao-Gong��� face. This can't continue. Like what yili said.. this is something that will continue to occur until I solve it. I got 2 more months to go.. 2 months to cultivate the best possible time to release the news of my plans for 2005.
and lastly Christmas! Start inviting.. and aim to bring more friends than the no of friends I'd invited last Christmas.. (easy to beat cuz only brought my mom). I look forward tO the end of their ACCA exams so got colleagues to bring. Doing my best to see any more lost one in IRAS before I end my working life here. Speaking of which, I���d packed my 1st box of stuff..
evening..
due to the unavailability of the credits in my ezlink card.. original intention was to walk from novena to ymca.. (I reckon 1 hour should do the job.. cuz left office ard 550.. ample time.. and good weather��� ) however.. turned out that banana already at cityhall.. so yup.. made it to Newton 10 min later ..so took mrt down from Newton.went YMCA for bible study. Actually I been thru the lesson already, but fresh revelation.. [p.s. I felt soo privileged to attend the earlier GOTP class at the auditorium is more roomy]
I miss banana.. she's sooo cute.. & childlike..but grown-up spiritually..
walked home from the mrt station. enjoyed the cooling breeze and the time with Him.. watched a bit of ���seven���.. guessed I was tooo tired and fell asleep at the 4th sin.
Thursday
Im sOOOooooo ��� Argh���brace myself���
heehee. am I that" recognizable"? there's a Christmas bazaar at workplace.. [ha, I used to be the sole organizer cUZ my assistant left the organization 5mths after she took on the post. anyway.. it was a fUn experience.. matter of fact.. I was rather active on the ���ECA��� side in my initial 2 years here.. until 2004. Subconsciously, I was preparing to leave the company hence didn���t want to take on additional responsibility that I won't fulfill to the end of my term (unless appointed.. then gotta accept, like my e-life task.)] O, one of the stall holder recognized me and call me by name and heehee.. I don't remember his face nor his name but remembered vaguely that last Christmas , an accessories stall came last year.. Ha.. I got this pair of earrings at $2! (actually the original price was rather cheap ~ $3 but still he gave me a disc. heehee.. cuz saw another staff tried to bargain with him but to no avail.. hahaha..)
with the remaining of what I had.. it will go into the offering envelope later.... ya.. Am really waiting for dec 11 for the $$..
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
1:47:00 AM
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Wednesday, December 08, 2004
10am
9:30am Matter of fact: I was disappointed.
And I wasted two hours wondering. I will stop it. If it comes, it comes. if not, it won't change the fact how many times I look at it.
If God says 10am. 10 am it shall be.
no wonder I didn't get to see the message last night even though it was sent at 0:00. if I had read it, I won't be able to have that long chat and I won't be able to concentrate.
well, there's still other roles to do even if the worst of what I'd thought come to pass.. it seems very true that it might take place.
I'm still human, so there is still flesh in me. It's ok. I'll live.
Am thinking of a silly thought, but to let just one thing make that decision will certainly be foolish. Man's tendency is to give up when the thing that he desires did not materialize.
C1 or C2? Do I need to make a choice? (Question was asked by a couple of my friends, told them undecided and hope I can achieve both concurrently.). The more I ponder, the more I sense my heart is going towards C1, despite of the recent gunning, the rewards at the end of it all is worthwhile. Afterall, I can fulfill C2 roles while C1 takes a major steering, just that it will no longer be major C2. And I know that there will come a point whereby I gotta choose. I don't think I've the capacity to do both at this stage of my life. Especially next year. heehee.. Only sweetie knows the answer! Now it's only a matter of when.
Frankly, I'm glad that what I felt came to pass. Now, I freed up tonight to discuss the important things. but not exactly what i thought.
Matter of fact: I'm was disappointed. Note the verb used is "was".
And I really got the answer at 10AM sharp! mioneMionEmione.. hear.. and register! now
and i wonder how i can survive till 12th.. I need my pay.
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
10:19:00 AM
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a looong talk
had a looooong msn chat...serious stuff.. hey, we'll do something abt it ok.. can't always let this happen!
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
2:16:00 AM
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Tuesday, December 07, 2004
a busy tUesdAy
slept at 5+...woke up at 8am!!!! REached office @ 9am.. cgl called me at 9+ to inform the combined adult meeting cancelled.. spent the next hour to inform members.. I appreciate thOse who replied..spent half of the mOrning on admin.. and I gOt 3 URgEnt/ majOR cases to be dONe by end of the week. Expand my time, Father God.
thankless job. but I enjoy doing it.I realised that there's still a lot I need to learn...
to him to think I'd pushed too hard for cellgroup attendence. brother... I'm not pushing you for attendence. I'm accountable to God (indirectly) for you. True, missing one or two cellgroup meeting would not cost u an arm or leg. It's the attitude & mindset I'm concerned about. To yield to your flesh when it cries out for rest will not help you in your walk with God. I thought you wanted to go forth in a more intimate relationship walk with God. community work is good but your spiritual well-being is equally important. The only thing I can do is pray... the choice is up to you..but I'll be praying for you. take care of your health!
excited.. meeting cat @ sembawang at 7:10.. wonder what look she will create for me later...
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
12:41:00 PM
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happy...
i can sleep noe.. mission accomplished on vick's comment link.. PTL!!
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
3:56:00 AM
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short...
short.. like this picture.. sooo cute... (see my mood pic)
am still in the process of becOming the lady that God has called me.. trying to reach that level... yups..
and yes.. I'm not tall.. heeeheehee..
now attempting help vick to add comments section to her blog..
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
3:35:00 AM
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i can't help it...
love watching cantonese drama serials.. (this the aunty side of me..) catch the ending of that serial i'd just completed again... revelation ~ many times..deep down inside u already know what u want..you don't dare/ want to make the choice cUz you fear that you will live to regret it. Choose when you have a chance to. You only live each second once... make the best out of it. Nevergiveup!
~~ tonite.. I sOrta got the arrOw/gundOwn when i ask her for confirmation of venue.. maybe that's her style of reply...
change.. is the only constant in life.. gotta be flexible..
interesting.. cat asked me to be her model for her final make-Up class tmrw.. wonder if I'd replied too late.. :) the occasional vainPot strikes.. as much as I like to add cOlor to others.. I like to be "colored" by others too... heeheehee
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
2:03:00 AM
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another trip to ttsh..
I went to TTSH this morning. It was definitely a shorter wait than last Friday. Hmmm was attended by a cute, young doc. His first name was Owen. However I would still need to go back on Friday for follow-up. Praise the Lord that the condition improved. Went to the food junction @ TTSH cuz I'd not taken my breakfast. Nothing that I would like to eat. Blur me forgot that I've scheduled a meeting with my trader at 930. Ended up back in office around 10. (Entitled to 2 hrs time off to see doc.) I missed my long weekend break. Long in the sense that I was actually not working last Friday, cuz went see doc aft my meeting��� looking forward to Sat. Payday and service! Really I do��� can't help it.
Managed to express what I want to say in one paragraph! Heeheehee! Only sweetie knows the answer!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
ha. received email this afternoon to be informed that I'm shortlisted as speaker to some external conference. Guess the schedule date: July 2005. despite of my less than perfect work.. aiYoh. actually. I think I'm one of the Up and coming one if I stay on. It's so ironical. I'd waited for like 2 years+ for some sorta promotions. And when I had my mind to leave, the doors for advancement starts opening.. this song rings in my head.. "And even though sometimes Your way I cannot understand, I'll never walk away because my future is Your hands! I don't care what people will say, I'm running after You. No matter what may come my way, I'm running after You. I won't turn back and go their way, I'm running after You.It's You I'm following today, I'm running after You. I'm running after You."
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
1:45:00 AM
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Monday, December 06, 2004
another trIp to TTSH
PRay that the eye-check Up at ttsh would be Ok..
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
3:21:00 AM
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one berry is zOnked out
cranberry no more... I'm pretty sure of that. yay!!!
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
2:16:00 AM
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sOt graduation..
seRved chOir for sOt graduation..
sat on the stage thinking... this year I'm on the platform.. next year I would down at the floor area.. bUt gOt me thinking... " what am i going to do after i graduate?" ~ my cgl asked me the very same question when i first told him of this desire to go bible school.. no doubt you'll be charged up by the spiritual env of SOT.. but what matters is what u're gOing to do with the knowledge and skills acquired...pRaying abt it.. more urgent on hand.. what am i gOing to do after Jan 05?
given a Task by cgl b4 he left for taiwan.. i hope i won't get the machine gUn like what long did.. (not to elaborate further.. else it turns out gossip.. but nothing to dO with our cgl)
Stefanie put her mortar board on my head just now.. really can see the difference that the 10 months of bible school had made to lives of my friend.. like stefanie..claire..
am actually rather tired... saw a sister who is extremely tired and kinda grouchy.. said that she's saving enery for the pnw later when i aksed her why she so blackface.. said that if she smiled now.. later no strength to..which reminded me of yesterday sermon.. you will find the energy to do the things that you enjoy doing... yup...
I'm now very perplexed... in the middle of the nite.. something crOp uP.. Ah,,, never exoect this... i wonder how this will end/or what's the result.. i hope that this is not a vicous cycle.. (thank goodness I don;t have this problem!)
am a standby shepherd now... stubborn stain.. need dynamo... else the repeated process of bring it to the washing machine.. and realised that the stain not dealt properly with..
God .. i need hcl!
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
1:28:00 AM
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Sunday, December 05, 2004
new look
hmmm decided to give my blog a new look.. like this skin. it's a skin inspired by the poem " footprints in the sand"... changed it a bit... shifted all the non-english entries into another blog... so heehee.. won't have gibberish..
new vision.. new blog look!
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
5:41:00 AM
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my 1st step to my adv.cert
I finally did what I'd put off for an entire month...
it was not that difficult actually... all i need to do is to open my mouth..
and i just felt a heavy stone lifted off my shoulder... and yes.. i felt the peace of GOd when i told Ryan that I'd made the decision to go SOT next year...well, yes, I'd prayed about it.. it's definitely not a spur of the moment decision.. and definitely.. i know what this will lead to... happy happy... and ya.. given the green light by my cgl..
took a look my my cert just now.. hey.. the certificate of Christian foundation actually entitled me to 3 credits in the advance cert to theology... heehee...
wore my new tops (last few for this year.. and long time to come...) today.. (actually saw many nice tops at fond hugs today while shoPping for claire's SOT gift.. held back my wants..) wOre this bright yellow one that I bought in JB. very bright yellow.. verysweet... heehee.. shld be rather attention grabbing cuz one of the choir sister asked me.. hey u were wearing the yellow top just now rite? i think she thought I was from s2..cuz she was pretty amazed that I changed sooo fast.. ahhaha...
(disclaimer: I knOw I'm 25 and I'm not acting as if I'm 15.. bUt i do a tad bit young if i choose to dress too...) and my sweet pinky top..
Praise the Lord.. my little spOt on my left cornea is gone... yay!
to one of my friend who is esperated by the response of one of his cellmembers.. incidentally the color he was wearing today resembles the nick that we used.. well... there's only one thing we can do.. Pray for him.. Hope that tonite's message will change his thinking.his mindset...
happyhappy.. Cuz.. I got the confirmation from God..
and that my chOir grp finally came up with our song.. modified rachel's.. hmmm simple.. but actually is the cry of my heart..
I think I'm getting rather skilled at dOing people's face.. heehee.. tris.. u like ur eyebrows? haha.. if u like.. i'm glad to do ur make-up for ya when u sing.. hehee.. consider to jOin make-up min? hmmm not at the moment.. (though some of the choir girls told me that I should)
was Suaned by long for having manicured fingers.. I said it.. I will do it.. hubby will be part of my QT despite my skills..
got the thought to bleach my hair.. should I?? kinda bored with the browns and red.. thought of streaking it... hehehee.. as a small treat..
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
2:50:00 AM
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Saturday, December 04, 2004
change
changed my backgrd music.. cUz it's too jarring for some..
ACTually u can tell my mood by my music too.. heehee.
everything sorted out last nite.. thanks long for reminding me of my prOmise to God made in June .. all's sorted out! since i'm on it.. why do i have to trouble and fret on that...
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
10:06:00 AM
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a day at TTSH
since thursday, I had a case of "rabbit" eyes.. think something must have got into my left eye.. and refused to dislodge dispite cleaning.. so friday morning... I think the leftie must have gOtten rather bloodshot... which explained why my manager and director wanted me to see a dOc.. so ya.. I went.. cuz it was painful when wind blow into it.. and painful to touch and awful to be seen..
went to Healthway @novena.. glad that I did.. cuz.. it turns out that there'a a foreign particle that got stuck onto my cornea.. was asked by GP to visit an eye specialist.. was referred to TTSH A&E.. it was a real LOoooNG wait.. went to A&E..waited for 1 hour.. was referred to the eyeclinc. waited.. initial eyecheck Up.. waited again.. and thank goodness that i DON't need an op. and well.. in layman terms... allergy reaction.. was askd for a follow-up visit on Monday... if the particle has cleared.. she will start me on a course of steriods.. meanwhile was given some cream to apply to my eye.. and eyedrop..
Moral of story: don't rUb youreyes.. and don't neglect the irritation..
second time i went to the hOspital alone.. thanks rachel and long for ya corcern...
despite of my red eye.. still went on the shOpping for gift quest.. hmm for the SOT grads jersaya & claire (failed attempt.. to continue later at the EA sale) and dec babes.. (failed attempt for one.. to be continued).. was an enjoyable evening.... haven't relax for a loooong time...
ha... never thought that gUy can make good shOpping kaki.. hehehe..
long.. am sure that ur dream will come to pass.. u're sure on ur way there....
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was asked by my manager that would i like a change in job scope.. guess what.. I was identified to manage one grp of the rr peeps (i.e. the processing pple) and do operations work.. aka.. a promotion.. well.. this add tO my dilema....
Question is.. IS this what i want? and most importantly.. is this according to His will?
I have the answer....I think I will have the confirmation toNite..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
9:56:00 AM
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Friday, December 03, 2004
am going....
i think i'm going kinda... insane.. ok.. perhaps due too much medication circulating around...
happy to see the cover page of straits times this morning.. the addtional 1.75 (usually stat board follows the ministries..) should cover my fees next year... thots.. harder to quit cuz dad & mom will nag since.. pay is good..
was not productive today...too many things running thru' my mind... hence resulting me "vandalise" my cg's blog... haha... graffiiti galore!
visited my forlorn 1st blog..the tagboard was unused for long and got deleted... added an entry..hush..hush...
i think my brain will go into pieces if this continues... taken my shower.. now i need to a spiritual shower... as happy as a lark.. cUz i got my voice back... i hope i won't abuse it too much though...
the sweetie .. bouncin off... and waved.. ssee ya tis weekend! excited.. Going to get my cert..
hey my dear cell members.. where's my birthday card huh?? :)
maintaining my sweet composure...
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
2:37:00 AM
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Thursday, December 02, 2004
me...
fasting...
I read this article on why muslim fast during the month of ramadan... Gee, I'm amazed at how similar some of the islamic laws are compared to the Word of God. i.e. if I'm not grounded into the Word.. I would simply have this thought that... hey.. the principals are the same.. so.. christianity is just another religion..Religion? I beg to differ.
I was brought up a taoist/buddist.. and became a free-thinker.. (cuz the pinafore me thought that having a cheena-religion is sooo uncool..so the best I could do was to do away with religion) and somehow... I admired my friends who attended sunday school.. when the pinafore me grew up.. I went into the metalbuttons stage..I really don't know why the cold war occurred between sandy and I, but it was how I started to become a "big-day" person.. (the "believer" that visit the church at the invitatiOn of my friend for easter and xmas mass.)
my testimony ain't exactly that drama-rama bUt..let just say that the days of 1992 to early 1993s were dark/dark and scary... and having a negative blow on my self-esteem.. (i guess that attributed to the low self-esteem I used to have... cUz.. that chain of events would always be there..) well.. it's like living the drama out of the typical TCS drama serial during those day...the nOise.. the banging.. the shoUting.. the demands...the threats..family near became two... well.. it's was during when I grew up.. I was this 13 year old.. with enough stress from the sch woRk (she used to be rather hard on herself..she drives for excellence in the things she wanted to..)..and she's gotta pretend that all's fine when all's not...It ended in Feb 1993.. when the family relocated to bedok nth from MP...
however...she always need to spin a tale when pOsed the question "why did u shift?" I was rather dejected.. and disappOinted in life.. and angry with my dad for the whole situation.. and with God that why me? (the good thing is that to me now is good.. the relocation see the altar table gONE!! hiphiphurray!)I thank God that the doors are rather sturdy... if not.. haha... my room will be without doors cuz i slammed my doors to vent my frastration... (can't imagine the sweetie can do that huh?)
aniwae...yup...1994 xmas..I went to my 1st church service that reconciled me with my dear friend.. and somehow.. my attitude towards my dad improve... bUt..i sank into depression in JC.. not to the extent that I need to see doc.. but my mood is like a pendulum... and I cultivated the habit of walking in the rain... thanks to the kaki shorts guy in my CT... got better.. but still subjected to swings.. thot of ending it all..for no apparent reasons but the fear of death held me back... (thank God!) It was that day at mount alvernia that changed it all... 14 Jan 2001...I experienced the unconditional love.. being helpless & dunno what to do... I thought i was alone but I felt a presence... hearing the very word that "it's alright, I'm gonna be with you" really give me the peace and the conviction that I need to be planted and stop floating.. I told God.. I will be planted whereever You place me.. 7 months later..i went to SIS @ invitation of ming.. fOur days later.. I went cellgrp, another 2 days later hollywood. and the rest is histOry...
His love is soooo wide.. His grace is sufficient for all.. that despite of whatever flaws we had... no matter how we depised ourselves... He loves us... even before we are created... everyone is unique.. hence.. fingerprints are used as identification,right.. we are all unique creatiOn.. when you thought you're alOne...and lOst... and lost all hOpe in life.. He's there to uplift us..to shield us...I may not like everything that I'd been through in life... but I know that none of the experiences would be wasted... I may not fully comprehend now.. but one day I will.... I thank my Heavenly Father for not forsaking me and called me back into His arms...
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
2:03:00 AM
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hate.. love..ponder
I hate it... I hate it when I'm sleepy and yet I don't want to sleep.
I hate it when I woke up late when I need to be early.
I hate it when people email me on request on matters that I'd discharged my duties of more than half a year ago.
I hate it when I had 9 voicemails waiting for me to revert early in the morning.
I hate it when my mailbox was flooded with unread email.
I hate it when I want to do something, yet lack of the willpower to do it.
I hate it when I know where I ought to head, yet I'm afraid of the unknown.
I hate it when the stimulus made me excited and happy, but yet knowing it would unlikely turned out the way I want it to be.
I hate it when everything that I do remind me of what I wanted to forget.
I hate it when I can't find the missing item when I'm leaving the house and running late, and when it oblivious to me but it's right before my eyes.
I hate it when I know I ought not do and that despite no one knows it but God sees.
I hate it when my flesh became the domineer instead being dominated.
I hate it when I got tons of things to do and yet when my fingers land on the keyboard, they became the accomplice to blog instead to work.
I hate it when I wanted to do something and the phone ring and the person on the other side didn't express herself clearly.
I hate it when all things seems to be down and yet I have to pUt up a front.
I hate it that I can't concentrate when I needed to.
I hate it when I need to put on a happy mask when I need to wail it out.
I hate it when I'm far away from God. I hate it when I don't even know why I began this list that makes me feel more crappy than I first started.
I love it... I love it when I feel the goose bumps, the heat, the cold.
I love it when I'm lost in His Presence.
I love it when I'm alone and yet not alone.
I love it when it rain, cuz there's always sunshine after the rain and there is a possibility of the sighting of a rainbow.
I love it when someone says thank you when you least expected it.
I love it when I see the fruits of my labour growing.
I love it when I'm surprised by the sweet gestures when I don't expect it.
I love it when I'm told I'm still in school when my matriculation card had expired for 3 years.
I love it when I'm being persecuted and yet totally according to His will.
I love it when he smiles even when it's not at me.
I love it when he talks, though sometimes the words may not register in my mind.
I love it when I saw things trigger memories..
I love it when I blog cUz it just take all the stress away..
I ponder.. The earth is round. Though you may had missed a step, don't stop, time will just continue ticking by, and the earth will continue to revolve..Walk faster and you will catch up on what you'd lost.
Procrastinating will get you nowhere..Delay will lead to further delay, then permanent delay and eventually died off. Stop procrastinate, start to act. (Yes I'd yet do what I need to do.)
Doing what seems to be the best idea to your flesh and the world may not be the brightest idea. Doing what seems to be the most nonsensical thing to the world would prove it worth when you see the rewards for being a fool for His kingdom at the end of it all.
~ the sweetOne screaming inwardly and smiling outwardly~ 3+ pm 1st Dec 2004
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
1:00:00 AM
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Wednesday, December 01, 2004
it's 5am.. and i'm still awake
i wonder how i can sUrive the day.... after 4 wOrkin days away from the office.. i picture.. the voicemail light to be lit.. and the monster blue files a piling.. and i've not do my papers yet...
and it's 5am and i am not asleep....
I know I'm killing my cells... aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh
Mind wandering... thinking tooooo much... thots can't be blogged... i'm reaching the point of insanity.... to be wide awake when i need to be at wOrk at 8am...
how i wish i can have another day of medical leave...
p.s. i'm not suffering from insomnia... i know i can sleep if i'm on my bed... just that i don't want to...
changeme. princessmIone lalala @*
5:06:00 AM
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It's 2:45am.. and I'm awake...
THou shall not abuse my body... I will sleep sOOn..
was very eager to knOw the ending of the drama serial i was watching...cuz was at episode 24 when the unexpected happened.. sO ya.. being inquisive.. i know i won't be able to zzzz till i know the ending... hmmm wellwel.. as what I'd thOught... (aunt mione watched till 2+) Watching this drama serial had got me thinking... whichever way my career path gOes..i am to impact lives of others... nOt wOrking towards merely towards the ends (i.e. $$).. not for self... but the lives of others...
hmmm sOmehow the movie ten things I hate about you came to mind... I like the pOem that kate wrote to the guy she likes...
Ten things I hate about you I hate the way you talk to me and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car.
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick. It even makes me rhyme.
I hate it...I hate the way you're always right.
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh;even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it when you're not around and the fact that you didn't call,
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you;
Not even close;
Not even a little bit;
Not even at all.
(i like the last "hate".. when u like someone... no matter how u angry/ annoyed by him/her... all the hates... dissolved by the love)dOn't know why this came to mind...think i'm waTching tooo much sOppy stuff...
i want to sleep now... hOpe i won't coughCough when I'm on stage... Cuiqi..thanks.. will steam my throat later...
p.s. had a very blessed day today... I got a new pinkTop and skirt.. mOm thot i look sweet in them and bought them for me.... and best of all.. she's nagging lesser at my late nites.. keep praying.. :)
oo.... happy that i still look as if I'm in school...heehee...